As I look in the rear-view mirror on my life I see much naivety, which landed me into bad situations and relationships. I see trials and challenges, which I made many mistakes in. I see many exciting moments and events, which give me great joy. I see tragedies, which caused tremendous hurts.

As I look back, I remember wondering where God was when heartache hit. Where was God when my biological mother put me up for adoption? Where was God when one of my “best friends” died -my kittie? (I know, but yes) I wondered where God was when my marriage was falling apart. I wondered where God was when Christians and others looked down on me and my children because we were divorced. I wondered why God took my mother a week before my marriage. I have resented Him for allowing bad things to happen in my life.

As I look back, I can see God. I can see when He watched over me keeping me safe, even in bad situations I managed to get myself into. I see Him preventing the phone calls over a couple days from going through to the abortion clinic, that caused enough pause for me to be courageous enough to decide to have my baby (and experience being a mother and grandmother to wonderful people). I see Him pulling me out of the pit of depression, rescuing me and giving me the courage to step out of an abusive marriage (at a time when I was judged for the dissolution, because of other people’s gossip, misinformation or misunderstandings). I see Him being there to give me strength in each day to experience another marriage and raising a bunch of kids, who turned into five teenagers. Oh yes!

I see Him answering more prayers than I can remember, keeping our family under His wing of safety. I see Him with unconditional, never-ending love, grace and mercy. I see Him letting me sit at His feet and picking me up and carrying me when I didn’t have the strength after our son’s death. I see Him meeting me where I was at, in each moment of life. I see Him providing sunshine in the most unexpected places, reminding me of His presence, power, warmth and peace. I see Him prodding me to say YES to what ended up being wonderful experiences.

When I look in the rear-view mirror, I see me not having the correct perspective. When I look back, I see God in it all, wanting the best for me, HIS BEST. All the while, through my ignorance, stupidity or stubbornness; through my wrong yeses and nos, NOs to Him; He loved me through. He picked me up,brushed the mud off, and took me by the hand down another path in the journey of my life.

While it is good to look in the rear-view mirror occasionally to be reminded of where we have come from and how God has brought us through those valleys of darkness, it is important not to get stuck there. Let us enjoy where God has us in this present moment, and continue to look forward to what God has prepared for us. May we continue to say Yes to God and see the sunshine!